I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
