i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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