i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
