didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
