weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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