I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
