He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
