xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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