So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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