so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
