i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
