that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
