If that was your dad, he is hot
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
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