dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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