Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
