Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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