..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
