Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
