Porn is love you can see.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
