My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
