I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
