Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Someone shit on the floor
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
