Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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