i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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