thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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