so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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