look no pants
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
