You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
