careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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