Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
