mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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