Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
