No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
