It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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