Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
