There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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