week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
MIDGETS
????
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
