If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
