I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
