She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
