How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
