chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
