Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i dont even know how to be here
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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