I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
