Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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