The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Please, let me fuck your mom
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
