Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
