the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
