she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
