isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
no you cant smoke seaweed
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
