we're chasing vodka with high fives
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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