Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
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She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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