i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
