Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
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