I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
we should paint friendship bongs
We smell like vodka and hangover
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