I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
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It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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