Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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